You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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