Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
