no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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