glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
