You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
