White coat. Heels.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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