It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
she woke up with a sticky ear
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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