I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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