we have pet lesbian snakes
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize