yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
