when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
