I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Is it because I queefed?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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