At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i believe in u and ur pee
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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