There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
