I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
