Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
