the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
