'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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