she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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