I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
50% drunk capacity currently
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
