He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Randomize
