I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
