I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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