Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
