Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I will pee on everything he values.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
