he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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