It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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