My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
