After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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