she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
