Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize