who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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