I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
