What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
