dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
