So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
