i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
