Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
