I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
