If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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