I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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