I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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