The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
