I heard we made out
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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