I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
