I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm always down for nudity.
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