I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
