When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
