Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
