Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
