There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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