dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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