there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
