He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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