I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize