i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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