I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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